How the pupil felt about the person who died will colour how they feel.

  • What was the nature of the relationship and attachment before the person died? This can be a complex question. The pupil will grieve, even if the relationship wasn’t a good one. They may feel they have lost the chance of ever having the kind of relationship they wanted with that person.
  • How central to the pupil's life was the person who died? What role did the person fulfil for the young person?

Every relationship is different, and this will affect the nature of a pupil’s grief. Even within the same family, siblings can react in very different ways because of their unique relationship with the person who died. Be guided by the pupil rather than any preconceived ideas about a ‘hierarchy’ of grief.